Check It! Habits and Boundaries

habits, boundaries, breaking

People strive for safety. It drives most if not all our choices, even at the most subconscious of levels, and soon turns into habit. This inherent desire to be comfy, safe and protect ourselves is very instinctual and seems relatively harmless, but can easily transition into a block or challenge in various areas of life.

In my work as a writer and healer, time after time I see people who have no idea that their habits and personal boundaries may be causing limitations or frustrations in their creativity, love life or career. For some reason, they can’t connect the dots or see how one is related to the other. Auto pilot and comfort can seem like fabulous friends, when in reality, they are actually keeping you tied down, feeling helpless and frustrated.

And we all do it. Each and every one of us. Family dynamics set you up to operate a certain way in the world, and paired with personal experiences and struggles, shape you as a person, creating your view of what is safe or uncomfortable. The challenge is, most people are itching to point the finger at anything and anyone else besides their own thinking and actions.

Jumping Along the Habit Trail

People also hide in habits. They are safe and mindless. And not all habits are bad. But if they are making things difficult in your life and cause you a lot of pain and emotional frustration when faced with changing them, then that’s an uber red flag you may be acting your own worst enemy. It’s time to open up to transition and embrace change.

Before I come off sounding like a motivational speaker or self-help guru, let me make one thing clear — there is NOTHING more challenging than seeing your own crap. Really looking at it; taking the courage to see what’s working within yourself and in your dynamic with others. But one of the things I think holds people back most is romanticizing the past, thinking it can continue to fulfill them in the same ways as they move through life. That includes habits. Habits that worked for you before, making you feel safe, comfy or protected, can transition into stunting your personal evolution, fulfillment and happiness.

Time to Change the Tires

Change is part of every aspect of life; the seed that sparks innovation and revolution. It’s where great stories come from; it’s the key to how we learn, grow and expand our mind to the next level of the human experience.

And things in your life can seem really terrible when you don’t see them as necessary change, and instead view them as threats to your safety and current way of being.

What we really need to be thinking about are the boundaries around behavior. How do you LET people treat you? What are you willing to let slide, and what do you stand up for? Where do you draw the line at helping others, and instead turn that loving, nurturing energy loose on yourself? How may you be holding yourself back or letting others do the same?

To me, changing habits is more important now than ever, as we sit on the brink of transformation as a nation, as a human race and as part of a global evolution. What are you ready to release, change or experience differently? Are you ready to be the best, most kickass version of yourself that you can be in this very moment?

Photo: Sheba_Also