The phrase – wandering is a creative practice and a discipline – might make some people itchy, uncomfortable, or downright irritated.
I can already hear two camps in my mind; the folks who think it makes total sense, and others who are scrunching up their faces and thinking … say what? How does that even work?
Well, I used to be primarily in the camp of “say what?” Not because I didn’t understand the concept from a literal point of view, but because I simply had never experienced how these two things can co-exist within a personal creative process simultaneously.
Let me explain…
On a personal level I’m generally fully “present” in one of two primary creative states – wandering or not wandering. When I’m wandering by choice, it feels good, in alignment and “right”, as I invite true creative freedom into the flow of my life. However, when I want things to flow in a certain way, and I FEEL like I’m still wandering without any say in the matter, I can sometimes jump to self judgement, fear and frustration that things are not working in a way I can predict or dictate. It can feel too exposed and unsafe.
When we can’t quite yet see the reason or purpose of something, it’s easy to forget that wandering is a key part of a creative process and solution. Toss in the ups and downs of basic human life management that need to unfold on their own unique timeline and way, despite our best efforts or expectations – all those thoughts, emotions, and fears can get mixed up pretty quickly.
The end result is that it becomes very easy to overthink and doubt ourselves when spending time on a creative project, life path or self improvement journey that isn’t getting us somewhere specific or clear – yet.
Is some of this default reaction a result of family conditioning and example behaviors? Yes. Is some of this emotional turmoil created and based on life experiences that have not gone well? Yes. Is some of it totally based in fear of something or against something, and not reality? Yes – and it’s all a normal, humbling, part of the human experience.
And while the unexpected surprises in life that are positive lead to new exciting directions FEEL good, no one can see the exact next step that leads to a specific outcome with certainty. It ultimately takes away from the mystery and power of life unfolding moment to moment, and the true power we have by making the best mental, emotional and physical choices available to us in those moments.
However, no one in my life ever let me in on this secret.
Instead, I continued to smash myself up against these same jagged rocks over and over for years, until I started to finally understand the most basic thing about life – wandering is a creative practice and a discipline for each of us.
Inspiration vs Creating Space for Truth to Evolve
My creative inspiration usually presents itself to me as emotional nudges of inner knowing, lightning bolts, or resounding overall body tingles that feel like a “YES”. In other words, if my emotional state generally aligns with my goals and personal inspiration, it’s a “no brainer” to take action on it.
For example, my Creative Mastermind service offering was an idea I had been thinking about for a few weeks after I had joined a creative coworking space years ago. When I talked to the community manager about it – she asked, “what you would be doing/call it?”, and my brain shouted, “Creative Mastermind”. It popped up in my mind and heart, then out of my mouth without hesitation.
When I recall that moment, I remember what it FELT like to be so sure and put it into form by declaring out outloud. Yet, the seeds of the idea were probably wandering around as a concept within my heart long before the inspiration struck and it felt right to share.
Once the idea was out there, then came the marketing part. How to spread the word? Where? Free group or charge monthly? Will anyone even care? Well, one person did care; the very first person to sign up for the Creative Mastermind at my co-working space wrote me a check on the spot and has now become a dear friend and creative colleague.
The Creative Mastermind worked well both in concept and execution – for a while.
Then a few local folks copied my idea, used a similar name, and hosted it at the same time and day in a neighboring city – but it was nothing like my unique offering. Next there was the challenge of building an online presence and selecting technology platforms that would work best to gather people together at a low cost. As I continued to try things that did, and didn’t work, it started to feel like… work. Where was the inspiration? The ease? The flow? Why wasn’t my class just filling up by word or mouth or need? What was the “problem”?
Well, in a way – I was the problem.
Wandering is Not Wasting Time, It Clarifies Desire and Personal Truths
While I was super busy with trying to make the Creative Mastermind work in a traditional business sense, I focused mostly on using disciplined, consistent action and “tweaking” the concept so it would be “valuable enough”. I was putting in the practical hard yards, doing whatever I could to hang up fliers, share information on social platforms and spread the word. Smart moves, right?
Well, my efforts focused all of my energy on the external aspects of trying to get interest from folks, while simultaneously piling on self judgment about it’s success and how it was unfolding. The Creative Mastermind started to become a drain instead of a creative inspiration that felt joyful and in alignment with my desire to help others get unstuck and thrive, or echoing the inspiration of my Creative Katrina tagline – Explore, Ignite, Create.
The reality was, I had forgotten the key principle of this blog post – that wandering is a creative practice and a discipline. I needed to support the practical aspects of the Creative Mastermind while also allowing space for it to expand, change and morph; to wander through the creative practice of what it COULD become, then allow it to take on its next level of creative expression. I also had to be at peace with where it had wandered so far, or make peace that it had grown as far as it could.
I’m happy to say the Creative Mastermind has continued as one of my stable offerings, but it also has changed in terms of what I feel it offered, and continues to offer – me. Instead of simply a way to connect with other creatives, it’s connected me to so much more; the co- founders of Horsetooth International Film Festival (HIFF) where I serve as the Communications Director, local musicians, artists, filmmakers, writers, and offered connections with countless other heart-centered story tellers and creatives in Colorado and beyond.
The Creative Mastermind service offering has also expanded my skills and joy of creative consulting to support other super talented creatives, and connected me with the opportunity to build a creative organization (HIFF) from the ground up – something I never even thought about or realized I would enjoy. More importantly, the experience of taking a chance on my Creative Mastermind idea has exposed me to new passions, inspirations, and ideas that keep my creative fire growing and expanding in fresh ways as I continue to evolve as a human and a creative, all while I help others along my path.
So now that we are this deep into the blog post, let’s get to the real reason I told you this whole story.
You never know where an inspiration will lead you, how, or the ways it guides you forward when you trust and give it space. Of course there are times when I’m frustrated, want to give up, or need a break. I also use those moments as an opportunity to reassess and discern in order to let the old ways, fears and judgments fall away and open up to what’s new and still evolving. I get to live the truth of creativity – wandering is a creative practice and a discipline.
Here are a few questions that may provide clarity on your unique creative journey at this moment in your life:
- Do I really want to continue with this action, line of thinking, or feeling? Why, or why not?
- Do I feel guided in a direction, or obligated?
- Is this a frustration from pushing against old behaviors that I want to change, or a clear “no”?
- Is this feeling or situation temporary, and if so, why do I feel like it’s “forever”, and allow impatience guide mood and attitude?
- Can I be patient with the timing of the resolution I want, or allow space for a new resolution to emerge to take its place?
Let your ideas wander, change shape and evolve in order to see them objectively. Try not to label them as successes or failures – but as vehicles that bring you closer to the next version of creative expression, fulfillment, learning and inner emotional connection you would have never experienced without the full spectrum of the creative process.
Want to read more blogs on similar topics? Check out Blend Creative Fire With Patience of Being in Progress or Can You See, Own, and Appreciate the True You As You Transform? Want to talk with me 1-1, schedule an Intro Discovery Session.
Like podcasts? I have one – Flirting With Enlightenment. Check it out for insights on tapping into your inner wisdom for self-discovery, clarity & passion with purpose.