How We Unleash Natural Talents When We Get Clear On Our “No’s”

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The word “no” looks small on paper, but it’s a powerful word to express when it really means saying “yes” to something much bigger – our natural talents.


As little ones we learn about the word “no” pretty quickly. Sometimes we were doing something legitimately unsafe and needed to be redirected. Other times the word was expressed with annoyance because of the state of mind, mood, and ingrained personal fear patterns of our caregivers, making us a bit confused.


For example, that leap off the dining room table? It was just that thrill seeker side testing limits, and a litany of “no’s” towards similar behavior eventually shut it down. Sassy back talk that was the beginning of self-expression and pushing boundaries, was slowly squashed with not now’s, please behave’s and be quiet’s. And the unintentional mess maker who drew or painted the walls, or took apart non-toys on the floor to recreate them into something new, well, that was just plain old mischief and needed to be stopped.


While these examples are easy to relate to from an adult perspective, when it’s happening in real life, there isn’t always a way to separate the creative from the destructive and dangerous for kids. However, these creative inclinations are not often seen and nurtured as what they really are, the beginning of unique self expression, nor are they supported with healthier, more appropriate creative outlets.


The inner creative in these random scenarios was following their curiosity and exploring natural talents, but got shut down in ways they may not have realized, with one simple word, all in the name of safety and good manners. For many of us, the word “no” grew and expanded into something we turned onto ourselves, slowly making ourselves afraid to express natural talents or even try to explore what inspires our creative heart as adults. There are consequences after all!


And so we absorb the “no”, make our own meanings for it, and sometimes it becomes an obstacle for the expression of our natural talents.


Owning Our “No’s”, and What They Open Up For Our Creativity and Joy 


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No matter what age you are right now, I pose one question to help unleash the natural talents within that want to rise up …


“What do you NEED to say “no” to, and what do you WANT to say “no” to?”


There is a difference.


One is conditioning, the other is clear, honest, heart-felt self-expression that comes from a place of knowing ourselves and what we want to put out into the world as our truth.


Now, just as learning is done in steps and layers, the same goes for exploring and understanding ourselves, what keeps us safe, what feeds our creativity and what we want to explore and express as part of our time on earth.


When we are clear on what we need to say “no” to, we are able to step into our power by letting go of our our past conditioning and shoulds. There can be a sense of guilt or fear around “misbehaving” or feeling an obligation to continue doing things out of habit or to avoid disappointment from family, friends or society, but that’s to be expected. We are creating fresh boundaries after all! When the things we need to clear out of our lives are unclouded, we have so much more time and energy to focus on what we like, enjoy and want to create. Our outlook and physical and mental health also improve, and we reconnect or discover natural talents that were waiting for space and freedom to come out.


Which leads us to the next step; clarity around what we want to say “no” to.


With more flexibility in our mind and heart, and less baggage to drag about, we start to see what no longer benefits the health and vibrancy of our “self-expression in training”. We begin step into the power of expressing our “no” with confidence. There’s a clarity around how saying “no” to other people’s drama, old distractions and unsupportive food choices, while meditation, spending time in nature, and regular exercise brings us closer and closer to what we no longer want, and can let go of, with grace and ease.


What we agree to release can be connections, habits, rules and negative self-talk, unsupportive careers or creative drains – really anything that stands in the way of expressing ourselves honestly and completely, from head to toe. But the key is that our creative expression is something we truly want to share.


The changes we make through our “no’s” may work with everyone else, but they don’t have to land with others in order for them to be right for us. And that is where the most powerful aspects of the word “no” can resonate on every level, because we can own it, we want it, and it’s the best way to unleash our natural talents and gifts into the world, free and clear of any emotional triggers other than joy.


What are some “no’s” you are ready to add to your life so that natural talents can shine?


If you are interested in doing some additional reading about awakening our inner creative force and setting it free, check out my blog post, Awakening To Our Inner Creative Force and Natural Pace. Want to talk with me about how to break through challenging patterns to own your “no”? Connect with me for creativity coaching or an intuitive reading.  Like more tips on how to tap into your inner wisdom? Check out my podcast, Flirting With Enlightenment