Photo by Helga Weber on Flickr – Stand your creative ground!
Creative self expression can feel like a very personal risk, especially when you need to stand your creative ground with others. This exact feeling is what keeps so many people from fully diving into their creative passion or expressing themselves — the fear of how to explain themselves to the world. The truth is you are absolutely not obligated to explain yourself to anyone regarding your creative pursuits, but will most likely need to stand your creative ground at a point when you least expect it.
The Sneaky Standoff
People are human and come with their own ideas of the right and wrong way to pursue a creative dream or life in general. They are following their own belief system and programming, charging ahead with what feels right to them. Keeping a focus on their own path, they sometimes try hard to get you to believe and think the way they do because they harbor the same fear — how to stand their creative ground with others.
I had a meeting this week with someone who contacted me based on a suggestion from a friend. I decided to connect over lunch to see how we may be able to help each other through community support or by referring potential clients. After the pleasant round of get-to-know-you chit chat, the meeting turned into a subtle sales pitch, and she quickly got offended when I said it was not a fit for me. Her initial response was, “well, I think when people immediately dismiss something it’s because they are closed off and not willing to open up to new possibilities”. And that is truly how she saw it, becoming very defensive.
In response, I asked her,“Don’t you ever just know, deep in your gut, when something isn’t a fit for you, immediately?” Her reaction was expressed in a series of assumptions about me, as I just sat back and listened…”do you not read or like to expand your learning? Do you just not like listening to audio books? Aren’t you ready to make more out of your life? I shared that I do like ALL of those things, and do them in my own way and have been for years.
When I did express interest in attending a meeting of her community members to check it out (because now I was really curious about just playing with this energy) she responded with, “well, you wouldn’t know what we were talking about if you don’t do step “A”. And no one has ever really asked me that before”. Hmmm, interesting. I love being the first person to try stuff!
Flipping the Script and Planting a New Creative Seed
As our awkward lunch was winding down, I presented her with a challenging perspective that is one of my key creative philosophies…”I do not feel the path to our inner expression and joy is linear, or that following a set of instructions in a certain order is the most effective way to pursue inner change. In fact, the expression of creativity is just that, a non-linear learning process of how we show up in the world with love in our hearts and not a pre-determined way it needs to play out in order to connect us to happiness.” Maybe these words sunk in, maybe not. But I did unintentionally rattle her — just by standing my own creative ground.
Just because someone appears to challenge you and what you stand for, it does not mean that what you are doing is not of value. It’s too bad this woman felt that is what I was doing. At the same time, she made a lot assumptions about me and my decision process, jumping to conclusions about my creative clarity and how I choose to connect with my own gifts.
Without intending to, people can inadvertently diss what you are creating in the world because it’s not how they would choose to do it. The one thing you can always do in these situations is to be mindful and open to what is shared with you, while at the same time, realize that standing your creative ground firmly and naturally is more than OK, it’s essential. It’s your connection and love of your own creative path that is most important and serves as an example for others who are still finding how to stand on their own.