When it’s time to break ties with what is no longer your truth, you don’t necessarily have an active choice in the decision.
It can start off as a nagging feeling that something isn’t quite right. Then it moves into a state of frustration, and no matter how you try to push forward, things are at a standstill- as your feelings get more rocky and intense. Then you reach a point where things can morph into full blown melt-down mode where the friction and discord is so clear there’s no way to NOT see it – and you realize you are staring an outdated belief or pattern right in the face.
If you reach this point I say, CONGRATS – you are opening your heart to a teachable moment. Sometimes what needs to go is very clear, and you can begin taking steps to change quickly. Other times you don’t actually know immediately WHAT is “off” or out of alignment among the variety of things you’ve come to see as our inner truths. This step is the invitation to start questioning and exploring what you believe in order to decide what’s still true for you now, and simply be with your feelings for a while, without forcing action.
Breaking open and feeling vulnerable while still not knowing what’s next can be uncomfortable and overwhelming. It’s also essential to creating and/or opening to the new in your life to serve the current “you” in a more truthful, powerful way, while stopping the drain on your nervous system, body and mind. The way forward will come, but you need to honor the fact you are in a big growth moment with no map, and have to clear the noise and false beliefs to set the stage for a healthier overall “operating system”.
Creativity and Commitment Directs You To What You Want, and Need, Right Now
The last few months of 2020 have been very revealing in countless ways, and shown us what is no longer working in our lives on a huge scale. Aside from the personal trips or plans you had to cancel, and the regular socially focused outlets that are on hold, life is recognizably different. The way life is unfolding may not be what we expected, or necessarily wanted.
These circumstances provide the backdrop for some very powerful soul searching and joy-finding as we create within new limitations and perspectives.
Creativity thrives when the heart is open, but it ALSO thrives within limitations and clear directed focus. Innovation is essential to all the creative ways we express ourselves AND how we choose to see and feel our personal experience of life and circumstances. For example, you no longer have time and space and time for people who are not committed to honoring themselves, waffling about what role they want to play in your life, or have unclear intentions about why they are in your space and what you are creating together.
At the same time YOU need to come first. Your health, joy, creative expressions and focus, your truths. A sense of mortality sparked by the pandemic really gets your attention and enables you to reevaluate personal belief systems and truths – the base elements of what drive your choices, actions and long-term behaviors.
Taking time to dig a little deeper for some revealing insight can be as simple as asking:
- Why do I believe this statement or feeling is true about the world, myself or other people?
- Do I feel aligned with the truths I’m practicing on a daily basis? Do they fulfill or drain me?
- Why am I involved in this job, career, organization, friendship, relationship? Does it feel good?
- Am I trying to vilify someone instead of owning when something isn’t for me?
- When do I feel less than and why? Is it true, or something I was taught to carry my whole life?
These simple starting points can help you build awareness and connection that illuminates ways you can break ties with what is no longer you truth, and begin to disconnect from cyclical thoughts and behaviors that don’t support the current you.
Taking Ownership and Breaking Ties With the What’s False in Your Mind and Heart
No doubt about it – this effort needs to be addressed by both the mind AND heart. The mind can help you see strategies and ways to change behaviors, but the heart must point you toward what you want and need to thrive each day.
This is not a “set it and forget” it kind of exercise, folks. It’s a daily commitment that comes with being open, vulnerable, disappointed, frustrated, afraid and ALL the “scary” emotions. This effort also means connecting with a range of joy, excitement, connection and creative expression you never thought was possible in countless ways, too.
Are there going to be times you struggle with trusting your choice – yes. Are there going to be other times when you feel regretful because you didn’t make certain decisions sooner – yes again. However, the point is to feel whatever feelings for as long as you need, let them go as best you can, and own that you are ready and willing to create a new set of beliefs and patterns moving forward.
While the expression of what this is like is so unique for each person, the truth you can see when you connect with yourself on a daily basis and ask simple questions like the ones I outlined above, can open you to break ties with what is no longer your truth, for good, bit by bit.
Interested in reading other blog content on similar topics? Check out Can You See, Own and Appreciate the True You as You Transform? Creative Friction is the Gift You Never Knew You Wanted. Did you know I also have a podcast, Flirting With Enlightenment? Listen here. Interested in my Creative Mastermind or personal consulting sessions? I would love to hear from you.