So, When Does the REAL You Show Up?

Photo by happykatie

I’ve been asking myself this very question a lot lately, not necessarily for personal inquiry as much as to reevaluate relationships in my life that have languished or gone south very suddenly. Sticking with my perspective that everything I experience is a lesson I need to learn,  I’m finally seeing some ways I was not showing up authentically for MYSELF, and that was clearly demonstrated in these broken relationships.

And after reflecting on that for a few months, I have a growing sense of awareness of how I’m more finely tuned than ever in seeing where others are not fully showing up either, or trying their best to hide from their own truth.

As we each wander our own path, choosing, experiencing, releasing, growing or hiding, the time table is different for us all, just as it’s supposed to be. That means even people who are considered leaders, spiritual or just generally self-aware are still working through stuff too, even if they can’t admit it or want to see it. And it’s these dynamics that I find the most frustrating.

Walk the Talk — It’s a Saying for a Reason

We are all human beings, which means you are not enlightened fully in an earth-bound state. You have crap to do, things to work on, people to forgive and personal obstacles that are meant to still teach you something — just like the rest of us. So when you are promoting yourself as someone who has reached a place where you no longer need to do these things, or positioning yourself as an expert to advise others regarding things you struggle with too, it’s simply inauthentic if you aren’t admitting that to them AND yourself.

Being a coach, leader, teacher, counselor or someone else in a position of authority who is leading others, means your first responsibility is to be honest with yourself. Do the work you expect or would instruct other to do, and show up in your own life. Playing in the fringes, getting some satisfaction or insight by supporting others in a limited way does no one any favors, and it’s not sustainable in the long run.

I’m sure it was hard for others (at least the small few who know me well enough and care) to see me struggling to embrace my full value and creative talents over the last few years, or truly owning my biggest strengths. The difference is that every step of the way I’ve admitted I’m human. I share my faults as honestly as possible, teach from a perspective of personal experience, not absolute truth (because only you can know what that is for you), and fully acknowledge I’m a teacher in some areas and very much a student within the same scope of information.

So instead of trying to convince everyone you are an expert in all you do, SHOW UP. Let us see how you deal with things in a honest real, way and truly own it. Be grumpy if you are, share you fears, admit your faults with grace and actually do what you would tell others to do by actively demonstrating it in relationship with them. You aren’t helping anyone if you can’t even be real with yourself, because then we all lose out on an honest, heart-felt connection with the truest expression of your inner radiance.