As our lives become increasingly complex and relationships morph into a mix of technology and limited in-person interaction, how to forge connections and be in relationship, personally and professionally, is rapidly changing. Not only do we need to balance what we prefer, but we need to be even more aware than ever of how others choose to communicate, too, and try to decipher all the same nuances that naturally occur during one-on-one contact.
And let’s face it — that can be a bit more challenging when technology is involved. Etiquette is different, eye contact (unless using video) is impossible and you have no idea how engaged the person really is on the other end of the conversation. There are also different acceptable social norms in a technology-only space.
Yet with so many more ways to reach out (or not), we are still left with the same age old challenge — communicating effectively and being honest with the truth of our role and responsibility in each and every relationship.
Thanks, But I’ll Pass on your Excuses and Take the Truth, Straight-Up
Personal truth — I cannot stand when people make excuses and don’t own up to their role in situations or relationships. And for the record, I can see right through it anyway, so it’s kind of a waste of time.
It’s so easy to make excuses and find reasons why you dropped the fall, fell off the face of the earth for months or simply decided to do nothing in a situation that required at least some minute effort or action. And over time, the underlying theme that “it’s everyone else’s problem” or that “you are a victim of circumstance” start making sense to you. You might even convince yourself they are completely true.
My suggestion is to save your creative thinking skills for your next fun pet project.
You aren’t fooling people. Someone with a laundry list of why things are never their fault not only becomes tiresome, but also seems very unreliable and it eventually takes a toll on the level of trust in a relationship. As a result, your work and personal connections suffer on multiple levels.
Does that mean I’m perfect? AHHHH, NO. But I don’t’ claim to be. The difference is I care about people and relationships, and own up if I forgot, missed or horked something up. I feel my time is way better spent being honest, and I see it as an opportunity to expand my understanding and personal growth, as well as the chance to change the dynamics of personal connections.
So do yourself a favor — own it. Own your mistakes, challenges and faults. Be open to looking at the truth of every situation and your personal contributions to it’s creation. Of course it stings and throws a dagger or two at the ego, but you will earn the respect of the connections you’ve built if you can be as honest as possible.
Photo by photosbydavid