Photo by bird ghosts on Flickr
Needs, requests, obligations and other people’s drama — all things that suck up time and inner creative fire. And when the day is done and you have given to everyone and everything else, where are you on the list? Do you even show up? If you’ve been feeling creatively bereft and frustrated, you may not realize how you are being emotionally stingy with yourself and blocking creative inner guidance.
Being emotionally stingy is usually something that creeps up as a behavior pattern, not something people are acutely aware of or actively choose. We’ve watched other people in our lives demonstrate this behavior and we just mimic it, or we put too much emphasis on what’s outside of us, making everything else more important than bringing in more appreciation and love for ourselves — just because (no reasons required). And that’s the most important part; we don’t NEED a reason to be kind to ourselves, but we do have to give ourselves PERMISSION to do so.
So if you’re not sure where you stand and feel a little “lost in space” about how to amp up the self-appreciation, then it’s a good time to do a little check-in test. These perspectives will give you a feel for the state of where your sense of self-love and appreciation stands right now.
- What times of day do you feel spaced out or exhausted? Who have you just spent time with or what task have you just completed?
- What kinds of hobbies, personal passions and people replenish your creative center? Do you even have any?
- How much time a week do you spend on feeding your creative soul with whatever you desire; anything from the simple to elaborate, that puts you at ease and makes you feel as if you are recharging your batteries?
- Do you say yes to everything — thinking you might miss out?
- Do you continue to say you will think about yourself tomorrow or “someday”, being as stingy as possible with your own self-care to finish a to-do list?
These are just a few simple perspectives to consider when you check in with yourself and what you need to nourish the creative soul — but you have to WANT to do the work. It’s a personal desire to connect with your inner-most self that leads you to acute creative awareness, especially when you need to be determined to bypass lots of layers and get to the bones of inspiration. There is no tomorrow where inner joy and emotional balance is concerned; it’s a cultivated process that you craft each day to personally access your inner creative self as often as possible so it becomes second nature and flows with the rhythms of who YOU are, naturally, at your core. Others will honor your authenticity when you teach them how.
How do I know? It’s something I’ve been working through the last 10 years, as I shed the concepts and expectations I have in regards to “being productive and successful” vs. grounded and centered in my creative being, not just my accomplishments in the physical world.
Creative Rat Traps
Creative blocks also take shape when you craft judgments around what you expect vs. what you actually receive, especially scrutinizing how your gifts show up (something else I’ve also done — often). Here are some common ones:
- If you are expecting everyone else to fill your creative well you will be waiting a damn long time to feel good enough to freely and creatively express yourself!
- The same goes for accepting the gifts from people who WANT to give you things, selflessly and easily, but you are unsure of how to accept those gifts because they do not appear as you envisioned (I’m very familiar with this one).
- Last but not least, the experiences that show up looking like anything but a gift are the best ways to learn your deepest lessons and are some of the biggest emotional release points, leading us the next, more creatively open version of ourselves.
To open up our connection to creative flow, which I personally define as heart-centered inspiration for anything you are thinking or feeling as well as any act of “creation”, we have to first show up emotionally for ourselves, knowing AND feeling we deserve to connect with our inner most joyful self. That’s when a true open connection is made within, that allows you break through any patterns of being emotionally stingy with yourself, and approach life in a healthier, more balanced way.
So what’s one emotionally stingy pattern or thought you are willing to give up, starting today?