Power struggles — we all have em’. Whether it’s between family, co-workers, love relationships or friends, they are a necessary part of change and personal growth. When a power struggle eeks to the surface or explodes like a firey bomb, it’s extremely easy to look at challenging dynamics and blame the other person, pointing out all the reasons you are right and they suck. Which, in some cases, might be entirely true.
But the reality is, you have three choices: Be open to the truth of the situation so you can grow and move forward — together; stick to your guns because it’s a matter of principle and personal truth, and be OK with cutting ties; or just blame everyone else while doing nothing to change. What you choose not only depends on the situation, but where you are at with acknowledging and managing your own personal power.
Your Personal Power Truths
The places in every day life where you may feel powerless in life or relationship with others that are the most critical dynamics to explore, because they define so many elements of your life — how you show up, who you connect with and most importantly, how you view yourself.
Is there are formula or right way for you to get to your own truth —- ahhhh, no. That is a completely personal journey that factors in life experience, desire for more and the ability to be humble. But without knowing your own truth, you cannot show up authentically in these power struggles, or in fact, feel you have any power in them in the first place.
The challenges that arise in relationship show up in that personal type of way to get you to take notice, to get you to really look at what you are creating and who you are creating it with. They force you to dig in deep and invite you to take an honest look at what is truly important to you and what you need to feel supported.
If you notice a trend — that you feel the need to consistently dominate or always feel powerless, then those are some good places to start in examining your own personal power. But for the every day dealings with specific people that may prove challenging, ask yourself:
- Are we just pushing each others’ buttons right now?
- What can I learn from this interaction about myself?
- What ways am I being stubborn or not listening?
- Am I coming at this situation from a place of ego and defensiveness, or openness and desire to change?
Based on your answers, it might be time to step up more, speak your truth without fear, let other people have more of a say — whatever makes sense to create a shift and move towards something different.
Just remember, after “destruction” comes new growth. It’s usually not a pretty or willing transition, but immensely critical for the personal expansion of everyone involved. And make no mistake, you were drawn to the situation in the first place to explore your own growth areas around personal power.