Ahh, relationships. In the wake of Valentine’s dust, relationships are on the brain. It is a time of year when we are programmed to critique and evaluate our connections, and are left with two obvious evaluations: we like our relationships or we don’t.
When I reference relationships I mean all of them, because love isn’t just romantic. Its your kooky Mom who insists on sending you random childhood artifacts, as much as its your best friend from junior high who still calls to complain like its gym class all over again. What I find most surprising is the large number of people who endure relationships instead of enjoy them.
Relationship Self-Awareness
Life is made up of experiences inspired relationships, no matter how you cut it. At certain points in life you have crappy relationships that lead to crappy experiences with work, family and your personal life. As you get to know yourself better, moving beyond befriending those who just happen to be plopped in your physical path, and you can begin to fine tune your preferences. You create a community that acts like an extended cocoon. It feels natural and its pretty rockin’.
So, choosing who is in your inner circle is one step, but as humans we need to make connections in innumerable ways. The bank teller, co-workers, the crazy guy who always mumbles at you on your walk to lunch and especially the people who handle your food. ALWAYS be nice to them.
As an entrepreneur I am only as good as my connections. I also need to be selective with how I spend my time. Beyond my ability to string words together, the key to my business growing and succeeding is relationships. Initiating them, cultivating them, expanding them and minimizing them as needed. This sounds somewhat calculated, but what I mean is that with limited time, I only want to maintain relationships that count personally and professionally. They work, they matter and I treasure them. And I make sure the people in my life know they are being appreciated and treasured.
Balancing Alone Time and Relationships
In contrast, as a writer I often need time to regenerate and be alone, to wade through my thoughts, feelings and experiences and really just disconnect. When I was younger I spent quite a bit of time alone reading and day dreaming. In college, I found myself having to spend an inordinate amount of time around people, and without a car, I didn’t have much of a choice. As I moved through post-college and more roommates, I found myself constantly surrounded, but with an identity that seemed to be merging with others instead of standing out. Soon I realized I had lost parts of myself by trying to connect without a real sense of substance.
Getting Clear on Relationship Mojo
In the big picture, where would you really be without your relationships? They are so much a reflection of you — where you are stuck, where you have grown and what you love about yourself. I feel the most amazing value of a relationship connection is the awareness that you don’t need to spell out or explain yourself. There is a hidden understanding that feels natural and right, and you treasure that feeling. This can happen with clients as easily as life long friends when you are open to it.
So ask yourself, what are you building relationships for? To feel important? To connect? To build your business? To stay sane? To share? All or none of the above?
If you can figure out those answers for yourself, you open up a whole new way to look at people in your life. You will also discover new ways to appreciate them that you never thought possible.
Photo credit for Moonty on Flickr
“Go out into the world today and love the people you meet. Let your presence light new light in the hearts of people.” Mother Teresa