We all make mistakes. What we don’t always realize is how we hold onto the energy of them long after they’ve transpired, and what it does to our self-esteem and creativity.
Our mind can get caught up in repainting our memory or retelling the story of our mistakes, too. The creative inspiration that could be saved for our projects can run amok, crafting new villains and building fresh plot lines, all while we sit with the emotions, letting them replay larger and deeper into our body and soul. We feel really bad about what we did or didn’t say or do, or endlessly replay how things could have gone differently.
The regret engine we’ve created builds up speed and takes off without a conscious driver. So even though we may have admitted our mistake to ourselves or others, and offered apologies, the energy of it is like recycled air on an airplane – it never quite feels completely fresh and clean. And to the body there’s no difference between a real incident and an imagined one so it goes on high alert, draining the adrenals and parasympathetic system, bit by bit.
On the other side of the fence is…defense. When we get defensive about a mistake, deep down we feel the discomfort of it, but aren’t ready to admit it or look at it. The sting of being or feeling wrong can ding our self-esteem and make us lash out. It also scares us into sticking with the paths we already know. This significantly limits our creative confidence and willingness to step into something unproven or innovative that might shake up our lives, fearing more mistakes and experiencing the funky energy that comes with them.
To move beyond thought spirals or defense tactics that generate more frustration, regret, or shame is simpler than we think, but a bit challenging to commit to as a new practice.
Why?
We’ve learned, and mirrored, the guilt and shame of our mistakes for years so it’s become an ingrained pattern. Now we have to catch reactive behavior in order to shift it into a heart-centered, mindful choice of forgiveness and compassion instead.
Mistakes Happen As You Learn, They Aren’t Who You Are
One of the most challenging, and heart opening, things about owning our mistakes is that we have to look inward in a different way and learn to show ourselves compassion. We have to be willing to see our role in things, and dig through how we may have tricked ourselves. It can reveal pesky ghosts in the closet, ghosts that keep themselves relevant by feeding off our inability to forgive ourselves.
Acknowledging and releasing our mistakes also sets us free to become who we are at our core. Free to create a new story and step outside of the ways we’ve painted ourselves as the villain or victim, and turning it into the compost it rightfully is now.
This acceptance makes our creative voice stronger, clearer, and empowered by what we’ve learned about ourselves and deepest desires. It invites us to trust our intuition and inner sight, as we feel into what’s right for us without the drag of old baggage to suck out all of the fun.
As with any process change, owning and releasing mistakes in a different way that’s healthier and more sustainable is like peeling an onion. When we can get comfortable with identifying and feeling the emotions that come up when we experience a mistake, we can also heal the deeper hurt it reveals, layer by layer.
To move closer to crafting a mistake release process and inner freedom, ask yourself a few questions. Refer back to them as needed them when something comes up.
- Is this a mistake I regret (or fill in the blank emotion), and have I taken the opportunity to apologize to and forgive myself or others?
- Do I feel guilty or wronged?
- Am I carrying resentment for something that will never be different, instead of accepting it so I can move on?
- What is one thing I can take away from this mistake and apply to my life moving forward?
Write down responses in a journal or on scrap paper to rip up later, symbolizing the steps taken towards letting go.
Taking the judgment out of mistakes is pretty powerful. As we practice, we can begin to own and release them more quickly in order to focus on the energy of what’s ahead, and feel empowered to create with it from a place of freedom and joy.
To read more on a similar topic, check out my blog post, Redirecting The Mind’s Relentless Review Of What We Create. I also offer intuitive readings to help clear out the fog and help you focus on healing, creating, and moving closer to your goals and desires. If you like podcasts, please check out mine, Flirting With Enlightenment, for simple tips on how to tap into your inner wisdom.