Creative Katrina

Photo by Mydass

With just about a month left in 2011, people are all a flurry making holiday plans, buying gifts and finishing up year end projects. It’s the proverbial “crunch time” — busting ass to fit in every possible thing you pledged with your heart and soul to do before year end, but some how fell to the wayside. Creative mojo is replaced with a sense of obligation, and attitudes quickly shift to grouchy, irritated and rushed.
 
Throw in family obligations, year end commitments and the looming thoughts of how to plan for the best year EVAH next year, and no wonder people go a bit batty.

Pressure! But where is the pressure really coming from?

Personal expectations, internal judgments and comparing ourselves to others. The should, could and didn’t (s) all pile on, pushing you into over drive, triggering old fears of not being enough, right now. And these thought patterns are not something you picked up last week, they are life long ways of thinking and being. With each coming year there’s pressure to outdo ourselves in a way that is better, more spectacular and amazing than ever before.

And these long-term, out dated ideas play out time and time again – UNTIL you notice the cycle.

The reality is, you need to get a handle on what works for you now, at this point in your life, in this moment. If you are spending time “wishing” things were and could be different, you are squelching creativity at its very source. You are denying the very mother of invention – NECESSITY! It’s the ability and desire for change that is the true inspiration for creativity in the first place.

I think the bravest thing anyone can do is look at their business and themselves with complete honesty and decide to make a change. Is it simple? Maybe. Could also be the most terrifying, gut-wrenching, ball busting thing you ever do. But if you aren’t willing to change the game, what do you really have left worth living for anyway?

The idea of the perfect “whatever” doesn’t exist in the way you expect because that would be predicting the future. The beauty is in being present, open and embracing what’s true in the moment, no “stories” attached, and transforming it into something amazing – in real time.

So if you really want inspiring, creative, on-fire mojo for next year, be willing to be vulnerable. Change your attitude. Open up. Let go. Surrender those ideas that drag behind you like stones, rolling over and crushing the green buds of new ideas in it’s wake. Give yourself the freedom to change, and your creative fire will walk up to greet you.

Photo credit: AuntieP

Each spring the human race feels compelled to wash windows, clean out closets and give our home the once over. The cathartic act of physical cleaning is peaceful in its own way, helping us slough off winter energy and prepare for a fiery new spring adventure among the tweeting birds and budding trees. It’s instinctual.

In spring we also feel a renewed sense of wanting to “get moving”. We don’t always know why or where we’re headed, but it’s a very deep desire to shake things up and get on the race track, so to speak. But there is a problem with that kind of thinking. Race tracks are closed in; they go in a circles. There is no way to make real progress towards anything, other than an arbitrary finish line that is already pre-determined. The real power is in taking the time to first think about where you want the road to actually go.

What Stays and What Goes?

This has been an interesting question for me lately. I’ve noticed people, things and work opportunities that no longer feel good in my orbit. In some cases specific actions took place that made me clearly realize the connection was kaput. Then the choice became a no-brainer. Others have been a bit more gut-wrenching and personal to let go because they have become part of how I identify myself in the world. As I change and grow, I have realized how important it is to acknowledge, honor and thank those parts of myself that have served their purpose, but now must be put into retirement.

My biggest shift in this spring season has been in turning inward to ask myself what I really want, releasing the compulsion to run around with a need for action without a cause. I’m also resisting the urge to “do” just for the sake of doing. Most people feel this similar tug, but instead they choose to fill their day with tasks and plans to help blot it out. It’s even easier to do when the weather is nice and there are so many beautiful, fun opportunities for distraction.

Honor Your Soul’s Desires and Things Get Simpler

Taking the time to honor your deepest soul desires is much more of an experience than an action. It deserves respect, time and special attention away from the noise of your mind. Reflection time after physical exercise can help those that feel better about zoning out after they have “accomplished” something, and the body has had a chance to release some mental chatter. Early morning and before bed are also good times to linger in or slide into that dream like state of reflection and receiving.

No matter when and how you do it, the important part is that you allow space for it. For many (including myself at times) the real fear is the shift itself, the fear that things will never be the same as they are now. Well, the truth is that if you are feeling incongruent with your own life things NEED to shift. No one else can tell you what that needs to be or how it will happen. So forget the “how” and figure out your own “what”. The events that happen next are all part of your own personal journey, meant to unfold in a way that offers the information you need to move forward with confidence and grace. 

“The other side of every fear is freedom.” Alan Watts

People think they know what they need to feel good and fulfilled. More of this, less of that. Someone to bugger off for a while. A hug. A fight. More money. Less family. Anything sprinkled with chocolate shavings and kisses.

The truth is, many people still aren’t sure at a deep, soul level. With the pressure of “shoulds” mashed with expectations, half-truths and delusions instigated by people who have made you doubt yourself, it takes some pretty extensive dedication to bypass the sea of flaming turds and get to the juicy, raw soul dream stuff. And own it.

When you become aware of the discord between what you should want to be happy and what you really want, then it becomes a duel for the truth. A longing to get in touch with the real meat and bones of your desires, the non-practical, gut-driven passionate thoughts of folly. Its these thoughts that are truly leading you in the right direction, but we have been trained to blast them out of the water because they may not seem “practical”.

And all this conditioning starts when you are a wee little one.

Childhood Habits Die Hard

As a young girl I was always in a rush. Head down, sights locked, prize in view. No meandering. No long walks without a destination.

I was all about stepping stones, building blocks. Why would I do something unless I knew what I was going to get out of it? Why waste the time?

I pushed through college, high school and graduate school. Check, check and check. I was finished at age 22 having completely jammed my brain full of volumes of surely useful information. Now I needed to actually use it. So what did I do with my cool, new super-inflated brain? The logical thing of course.

I took the first job that came my way because it was easy and “practical”. It was a full time job at the same company I was doing an internship with at the time. The switch to full-time really meant “now we get to treat you like total crap because we no longer have to impress your university.” An employee at the company even took me aside and asked if I was sure. He recommended I look around a bit and really think about what I wanted, but no. When you are checking things off your list who has time to THINK about frivolous options? I had a job offer at a place where I already knew the ropes so to speak, so why would I say no?

Getting Used to the “Real World”

As I forced myself to push through the work experience, I was learning next to nothing. I was miserable and sad, but I still didn’t know what I wanted. I just thought I had to do the practical thing and stay working. That is what big people do, right? Suck it up? Take home the dollars? Forget how much I spent in alcohol tabs trying to erase the day, or my poor boyfriend who has to listen to me cry every Sunday night as I dreaded even the thought of returning to the “hell hole”.

After a horrible six months or so I finally left, but as an over-schooled non-experienced writer with an “attitude problem.” I got yet another job doing similar work in high-tech PR soon after, and so went the jobs after that for years. I just continued to do the type of work I knew because it paid the bills and I was good at it, even if it never fed my soul.

Will the Real Creative Katrina Please Stand Up

Today I write about tons of things I enjoy. The only technology writing I actually do is for green businesses, cool start-ups or companies using technology to make a difference in the world – all things that feed my passion. I feel really good about that. I bet if I asked my 22 year old self if I would have preferred this career path earlier on, my soul would have soared. I would have been beaming. I just didn’t take the time to actually sit down and ask. I didn’t think I had the right to make money and be happy at the same time.

If you are ready to hear the answer, sit down and ask yourself what you truly want, no barriers. And I don’t mean “things”. What passions would you pursue if money was no object and you just followed your gifts and talents? The answers might come rushing to the top of your head or you might need a few days to mull it over. There is no right way to find it. I just encourage you to love yourself enough to blow that mind vault wide open and capture the booty inside.