Creative Katrina

Photo: Sheba_Also

People strive for safety. It drives most if not all our choices, even at the most subconscious of levels, and soon turns into habit. This inherent desire to be comfy, safe and protect ourselves is very instinctual and seems relatively harmless, but can easily transition into a block or challenge in various areas of life.

In my work as a writer and healer, time after time I see people who have no idea that their habits and personal boundaries may be causing limitations or frustrations in their creativity, love life or career. For some reason, they can’t connect the dots or see how one is related to the other. Auto pilot and comfort can seem like fabulous friends, when in reality, they are actually keeping you tied down, feeling helpless and frustrated.

And we all do it. Each and every one of us. Family dynamics set you up to operate a certain way in the world, and paired with personal experiences and struggles, shape you as a person, creating your view of what is safe or uncomfortable. The challenge is, most people are itching to point the finger at anything and anyone else besides their own thinking and actions.

Jumping Along the Habit Trail

People also hide in habits. They are safe and mindless. And not all habits are bad. But if they are making things difficult in your life and cause you a lot of pain and emotional frustration when faced with changing them, then that’s an uber red flag you may be acting your own worst enemy. It’s time to open up to transition and embrace change.

Before I come off sounding like a motivational speaker or self-help guru, let me make one thing clear – there is NOTHING more challenging than seeing your own crap. Really looking at it; taking the courage to see what’s working within yourself and in your dynamic with others. But one of the things I think holds people back most is romanticizing the past, thinking it can continue to fulfill them in the same ways as they move through life. That includes habits. Habits that worked for you before, making you feel safe, comfy or protected, can transition into stunting your personal evolution, fulfillment and happiness.

Time to Change the Tires 

Change is part of every aspect of life; the seed that sparks innovation and revolution. It’s where great stories come from; it’s the key to how we learn, grow and expand our mind to the next level of the human experience.

And things in your life can seem really terrible when you don’t see them as necessary change, and instead view them as threats to your safety and current way of being.

What we really need to be thinking about are the boundaries around behavior. How do you LET people treat you? What are you willing to let slide, and what do you stand up for? Where do you draw the line at helping others, and instead turn that loving, nurturing energy loose on yourself? How may you be holding yourself back or letting others do the same?

To me, changing habits is more important now than ever, as we sit on the brink of transformation as a nation, as a human race and as part of a global evolution. What are you ready to release, change or experience differently? Are you ready to be the best, most kickass version of yourself that you can be in this very moment?

Photo by Mydass

With just about a month left in 2011, people are all a flurry making holiday plans, buying gifts and finishing up year end projects. It’s the proverbial “crunch time” — busting ass to fit in every possible thing you pledged with your heart and soul to do before year end, but some how fell to the wayside. Creative mojo is replaced with a sense of obligation, and attitudes quickly shift to grouchy, irritated and rushed.
 
Throw in family obligations, year end commitments and the looming thoughts of how to plan for the best year EVAH next year, and no wonder people go a bit batty.

Pressure! But where is the pressure really coming from?

Personal expectations, internal judgments and comparing ourselves to others. The should, could and didn’t (s) all pile on, pushing you into over drive, triggering old fears of not being enough, right now. And these thought patterns are not something you picked up last week, they are life long ways of thinking and being. With each coming year there’s pressure to outdo ourselves in a way that is better, more spectacular and amazing than ever before.

And these long-term, out dated ideas play out time and time again – UNTIL you notice the cycle.

The reality is, you need to get a handle on what works for you now, at this point in your life, in this moment. If you are spending time “wishing” things were and could be different, you are squelching creativity at its very source. You are denying the very mother of invention – NECESSITY! It’s the ability and desire for change that is the true inspiration for creativity in the first place.

I think the bravest thing anyone can do is look at their business and themselves with complete honesty and decide to make a change. Is it simple? Maybe. Could also be the most terrifying, gut-wrenching, ball busting thing you ever do. But if you aren’t willing to change the game, what do you really have left worth living for anyway?

The idea of the perfect “whatever” doesn’t exist in the way you expect because that would be predicting the future. The beauty is in being present, open and embracing what’s true in the moment, no “stories” attached, and transforming it into something amazing – in real time.

So if you really want inspiring, creative, on-fire mojo for next year, be willing to be vulnerable. Change your attitude. Open up. Let go. Surrender those ideas that drag behind you like stones, rolling over and crushing the green buds of new ideas in it’s wake. Give yourself the freedom to change, and your creative fire will walk up to greet you.

This is more of a journal entry style than a blog post, but I thought I would share it anyway.

Reassurance is something we all need and can have, but not something you can expect. Acting without reassurance is not only brave, but essential in order to grow, change and expand into the highest and best version of yourself. When you are in doubt as to weather or not you should be making a change – just breathe. No immediate action is required; it’s just your ego pushing you to take action. The best way to move forward is with heart – love yourself. Make room for meditation, yoga, exercise, alone time, whatever you may need to make room for the answers to show up, instead of acting impulsively on limited information. Time is the best gift we can have or give because it creates space for new insights and information to show up, and reveal the truth behind the blocks that can color our perspective with a veil of fear.

Photo by Steve Minor

Jumping to conclusions is a human pass time. We all do it, and it’s pretty easy to get there fast. I learned to do it at a very young age, and have spent the last five years reducing that reaction to an occasional slip up.

I see so many people around me doing it for sport like there’s no tomorrow. In my younger years I thought it was just how people were supposed to act — it was what I saw everyone else doing. Now I just see right to the heart of what these judgments really reveal — insecurity.

Jumping to conclusions means that you are referring back to old patterns of thinking, ingrained ways that feel safe and comfortable. Opening up your mind to think of things in a new way, moving past your “training”, assumptions and learned behaviors, is a stretch that  many feel is too uncomfortable. So they don’t change at all. As the years roll by, these people often notice the worst always happens, BECAUSE they expect it too. How is there room for anything else but your worst fears when you cannot admit your insecurities and fears show up as judgments about others?

Yes, this is a big step. Taking ownership of your own insecurities is not comfortable, fun or glamorous. But it’s damn freeing. You just need to be willing to read between the lines to see what is really going on.

Practice, Patience and Reality

I experienced this close-minded thinking earlier this week. I received an email from someone that set off some alarm bells in my head, and I got a bit huffy. I immediately started painting a picture of this person in my mind (we don’t know each other well yet), and thought I had her figured out. She was a combination of my crappy old bosses, yucky clients and general bossy personality traits I dislike. It really pushed my buttons.

When I took a while to respond and she caught me by phone, those “stories” faded away.

This woman was under pressure to meet a deadline, and her regular writer was too busy. She was calm, forth-coming and very agreeable to the project terms I suggested, and I decided to move ahead with the work. In fact, she was nothing like the person I created in my head at all.
 
When old emotions surface, objectivity goes out the window. We usually end up making it about the other person, but it’s really an opportunity to see between the lines – on both sides of the coin.

I was able to see the reality of the situation by listening and reading between the lines. As she talked more about her situation, I sensed she dislikes being under the gun because she takes pride in being organized and ahead of schedule. She was also feeling a bit frustrated about having to look around for a dependable resource at the last minute, and was concerned about how poorly written content might impact her project if she was unable to get help.

By paying attention to all the subtleties of the situation, I was able to get over myself, help her out of a jam and earn some extra scratch. Overall a win-win, once I was willing to look at all angles of the situation. I was able to really see what I was creating…all in my own mind.

Are there times when you have done the same to a friend or someone you barely know? I’d like to hear about your experience.

Photo on Flickr by alasis

In life its really easy to say THAT SUCKS, THIS IS TOTALLY LAME or I WISH SOMEONE would do something (like make sleeping bags out of gummy bears – comfy and edible!). Its not very often I hear people stating workable solutions AND taking action in order to improve what they view as an injustice or challenge.

Being a writer I have a platform to write about topics and bitch if I so desire. For the most part I enjoy sharing tools to re-frame thinking, but not everything is solved by just thinking differently. It needs to be paired with heart-felt action. My personal goal is to inspire a change in thinking, that spawns off into a change in action unique each person’s soul path.

Of course, this is just one approach. There are so many ways you can make a difference in the world every day, based on simple life choices. In fact, you probably have already done it a handful of times today without even realizing it.

Change Agents Come in All Shapes and Sizes

This week I listened to a variety of speakers from a webinar series on social entrepreneurship. Julia Butterfly Hill’s interview was especially inspiring because she did something extraordinary that came completely from her heart AND impacted millions of people at the same time.

The most touching part was that it was not pre-meditated or born out of self promotion. She saw the need to bring attention to the destruction of red wood trees in California, in particular to a 1500 year old tree named Luna in danger of being cut down by the Pacific Lumber Company. You can read more about it here.

She took up life in the tree tops of Luna, and a few years (738 days) later, without touching the ground once, she inspired people, brought an important message to light and did something that truly fed her soul. Hill also had a team of people on the ground supporting her efforts who believed in message. She took a bold, clear step towards change and a like-minded community showed up to support it AND her.

Know Your Gifts and Claim Your Weaknesses

During her interview, Hill talked about how sometimes her actions seem even unreal to her, mainly because it was such a snap decision with no pre-planning. She also still marvels at the fact that such a simple choice to take action on her part had an impact in ways she never expected.

At the end of her interview she said something that continues to resonate with me, because it so very succinctly states one of my core values, (paraphrased) “you are actively contributing to activism or your community in some way each and every time you make a choice with your money, time or energy.”

This is what drives me to share what I learn and to write about useful tools and perspectives, so I can enable any reader to get super clear on what honors their soul’s song. When you know yourself as best you can, you make choices that support an awesome bigger picture for all of us, without even trying. Your heart guides you to the best option in the moment and the rest is able to come into focus and support you.

Do your actions need to be as drastic as Hill’s to make an impact? No. But flipping the script is always a great way to gain new perspective and insights. How can you do that for yourself this week? Tell me!

Photo by sheriffmiller on Flickr

Expansion. It’s a fun word because of all its potential implications. You can expand your business, your outreach, your waistline with multiple cookies, your horizons or…expand your MIND. They all sound like fabulous ideas (ok, maybe not ALL of them). But what does the term expansion really mean?

By definition, expansion is the act of getting larger or spreading out; the condition of being expanded; dilation; enlargement. It also means the space through which anything is expanded; pure space. Gotta love definitions that use the root word as part of the explanation. Kind of…confusing. But I digress.

So, let’s jump to the most important point about the act of expansion. It cannot take place without a catalyst.

Finding Your Catalyst

Moving beyond current limitations or space constrictions (aka expansion) does not take place all on its own. There needs to be a reason, a touch point, an incident that makes you think twice, makes you aware that the state you are living in no longer suits your needs and desires. Then you begin to consider the options and start poking holes in the old snake skin to reveal the fresh new layer of truth beneath.

This awareness can come on during your train ride, in the shower, as you push yourself along the crowded sidewalk or while your mother is bitching at you for the millionth time about God knows what. That is the coolest part. Sometimes you know its coming, sometimes it just slaps you at a million miles an hour, right in the face between the ol’ peepers.

So while you are looking for ways to spend time this year, why not just let your mind wander to the what ifs. Expand your ideas, your horizons and your dreams, and leave the to-do list for later. It will still be there when you are finished having a go at some creative day dreaming.

No Boundaries No Expectations

I encourage you to mentally expand into all of what could be if time, experience, money or other social details were not a factor, if you had the chance to do it all how you really wanted to, calling in all the unicorns, gummy bears and love you can wrangle.

The most important part to remember is that truly sculpting the vision and details of your perfect life in a way that feels amazing for you does not have a time limit or finish line. Real winners choose to let their mind wander in all the juicy, vibrant details they can muster, showing up whenever it feels right, their way, without a particular finish line in sight. They trust their skills and their gut to know when to make the right moves in the moment, because they have taken the time to daydream about all the possibilities.

As many of you know by this point from reading my blog, I am a writer. I am tech savvy because I need to be in order to run my writing business and stay competitive, but on a personal level, I feel better being “unplugged”. I see technology as a tool, not necessarily a passion, and I am totally OK with that perspective – although I do have my favorite apps.

At heart, I am a writer who uses pen and paper for my notes, calendar and journaling.  I get excited by the idea of hand-written cards and letters to friends and family. I love that the ring tone from my old phone featured a combination of croaking frogs and banjos – and I have a bit of a challenge getting over the fact its now a distant memory. I am OK with completely ignoring my phone while driving, in meetings or while brushing my teeth (my tooth brush is electric and requires at least one hand at all times or dangerous hilarity ensues).

However, as my business continues to evolve and expand, I noticed a growing need to upgrade my tool belt in a variety of ways. Not only was I rushing home from meetings with clients and friends to check my email, but I was getting annoyed I could not leave the house without turning on my frickin’ laptop. I was beginning to feel the pinch of change in the air.

Seeing the Truth About My Personal Hang-ups

To put things in perspective, my aversion to upgrading my systems and tools stems largely from the ideas featured in my previous blog post. I take my personal time in the morning to get centered, clear and organized about my life and day. I dislike having to immediately jump onto the laptop, and get grumpy feeling like technology has to be the first thing I need to engage with to start my day.

Slowly the nudge became a full-on bitch-slap as I noticed how I was working was no longer working. I was attached to HOW I was doing things, even though it was causing frustrations and challenges that could easily be avoided with better tools. Not only was it making me cranky, but I had to work harder to get simple tasks completed. It was getting old.

Quitting Stubborn Thinking and Opening Up to Doing it Differently

When I got frustrated enough, I took the plunge and  purchased my first Android phone a few weeks ago. Its the most money I have ever dropped for a phone, even factoring in the rebate and my two year contract upgrade. As I hesitatingly prepared myself for making the purchase, I came to realize that this stubborn type of thinking may be causing friction in other areas of my life too. Where else was I unwilling to bend or change? Where else was I letting old, unnecessary attachments get in the way of a better, brighter path?

In a world where creativity can come in so many forms, there is no mistaking how technology has an increasingly important impact on how we work and run our lives and businesses. At the same time, it offers us the opportunity to create in a new way, to change our approach and try something new that may open up huge opportunities you never thought possible.

If I stay attached to having to having to do things in a certain way, I am interrupting the flow of life and change. The ability to change is something I treasure dearly, and I am so glad that life gave me a little reminder this week, along with a cool new toy to learn along the way.