Creative Katrina

Photo by Road Fun

For people who may not know me, I’m as much of a spiritual “woo woo” person as I am a left-brained, logical entrepreneur and business person. And as a communicator by heart and trade, I’m always fascinated with how people connect with their own idea of spirituality. How do they nurture it, seek it, grow it – decide their own individual path? What role does it play, if any?

The topic of spirituality connects and polarizes because it’s such an important part of how people define themselves – whether you believe in it or think it’s a bunch of fairy tales (I’m friends with quite a few atheists). It’s one of the key concepts that’s supposed to make us “human”, and separates us from all the other “things”. And clearly, it’s one of the concepts that creates considerable friction between us all.

The Spiritual Piggy Bank

During a recent meditation this random idea popped into my head – what if people viewed spirituality like a 401K or a cash only transaction? Here’s what I mean:

A spiritual 401K is something you contribute to regularly through daily or weekly practice, moment by moment. It’s a simple, normal part of your every day life. Some days you can contribute more than others and it’s a habit. The types of contributions are endless – yoga, meditation, self-reflection, doing heart-felt things for others, forgiveness (of others and self), community service, pampering yourself, spending time with family, petting an animal – the list goes on because of the rich, diverse things people consider their unique spiritual replenishment.

Other days you need to make a withdrawl in order to pump your personal reserves back up. The fee for early withdrawl seems steep when you first need to dip in, and you wonder if you can really take the hit. Even scarier, you aren’t sure you can replace it any time soon, and have no idea how you will ever be able to. In reality, this overwhelming feeling is simply the awareness of what is lacking, and that feeling is what helps you realize where you need to go next. It tags that desire to connect with your inner knowing, to discover what the next step is to evolve to a whole new level of insight and awareness, while leaving behind the scraps of what no longer works for you. Prepared or not, you are very aware of what is fulfilling or missing.

Cash and Carry Only, Baby

On the other hand, the cash and carry method of spirituality is still helpful, but perhaps a bit less fulfilling in the long-term. You panic, try to get in touch with new spiritual practices or insights to alleviate any number of uncomfortable feelings, and then feel temporarily better. Perhaps you learn something to take along to the next step in your journey but aren’t necessarily developing a practice that enables you show up in that mindset regularly. It’s why you sometimes feel on the wrong end of a rubber band, scrambling to find a way to get things in balance for your mind, body and spirit, without ever really feeling grounded. You’re biggest effort is focused on just trying to avoid getting snapped in the face.

Is one approach better than the other? Nope. It’s just a way to look at how you are creating your personal spiritual space – whether that’s through the “woo woo”, outdoor activities, spending time with family, community service, working with the land and animals – whatever makes your heart full and open. I think the real question is how long do you want to be a pinball? Or does it feel better to create a spiritual 401K that reminds you of all the good you do and can come back to it as needed?

I know what my answer is…what’s yours?

Photo: Sheba_Also

People strive for safety. It drives most if not all our choices, even at the most subconscious of levels, and soon turns into habit. This inherent desire to be comfy, safe and protect ourselves is very instinctual and seems relatively harmless, but can easily transition into a block or challenge in various areas of life.

In my work as a writer and healer, time after time I see people who have no idea that their habits and personal boundaries may be causing limitations or frustrations in their creativity, love life or career. For some reason, they can’t connect the dots or see how one is related to the other. Auto pilot and comfort can seem like fabulous friends, when in reality, they are actually keeping you tied down, feeling helpless and frustrated.

And we all do it. Each and every one of us. Family dynamics set you up to operate a certain way in the world, and paired with personal experiences and struggles, shape you as a person, creating your view of what is safe or uncomfortable. The challenge is, most people are itching to point the finger at anything and anyone else besides their own thinking and actions.

Jumping Along the Habit Trail

People also hide in habits. They are safe and mindless. And not all habits are bad. But if they are making things difficult in your life and cause you a lot of pain and emotional frustration when faced with changing them, then that’s an uber red flag you may be acting your own worst enemy. It’s time to open up to transition and embrace change.

Before I come off sounding like a motivational speaker or self-help guru, let me make one thing clear – there is NOTHING more challenging than seeing your own crap. Really looking at it; taking the courage to see what’s working within yourself and in your dynamic with others. But one of the things I think holds people back most is romanticizing the past, thinking it can continue to fulfill them in the same ways as they move through life. That includes habits. Habits that worked for you before, making you feel safe, comfy or protected, can transition into stunting your personal evolution, fulfillment and happiness.

Time to Change the Tires 

Change is part of every aspect of life; the seed that sparks innovation and revolution. It’s where great stories come from; it’s the key to how we learn, grow and expand our mind to the next level of the human experience.

And things in your life can seem really terrible when you don’t see them as necessary change, and instead view them as threats to your safety and current way of being.

What we really need to be thinking about are the boundaries around behavior. How do you LET people treat you? What are you willing to let slide, and what do you stand up for? Where do you draw the line at helping others, and instead turn that loving, nurturing energy loose on yourself? How may you be holding yourself back or letting others do the same?

To me, changing habits is more important now than ever, as we sit on the brink of transformation as a nation, as a human race and as part of a global evolution. What are you ready to release, change or experience differently? Are you ready to be the best, most kickass version of yourself that you can be in this very moment?

Photo credit: Lucy_Hill on Flickr

Most of the time when you run into people and ask how they’re doing, they answer in one of two ways: “fine, how are you?” or “I’m swamped; I have so much to do!”

Today we are going to talk about the “I’m perpetually busy” response and what it really means.

Look, we all get busy. I get it. Life flows as it does and constant preparing to control every aspect of it is not living, its existing. So, how do you manage the life in front of you before you become entangled in a game of constant catch-up? Breathe. Sit down. Release your mobile device or brownie. Then review your routines. Honestly.

Must-Have Basics and Outdated Routines

Basic tasks such as brushing your teeth, showering, eating, managing work and home, spending time with loved ones and fitting in exercise can get overwhelming at times. But, what are your routines around these things? Are you dragging yourself through every last one? Are you feeling energized? Do you always feel you’re running out of time? (Please keep in mind that I say this as a procrastinator at heart.)

What you may not notice readily, is that your lack of ability to commit to the routines you create is the same as not knowing yourself well enough to create the kind of supportive lifestyle you need. Bet you never thought of it that way.

Plug and Play vs. Customize

A lot of people want a formula to plug and play. That approach can work with doing laundry, paying bills and other no-thought tasks, but how you choose to put together your routine is what will make or break your enjoyment of life. Its the real difference between surviving and thriving.

For example, I’m not a morning person. Never have been. When I get out of bed earlier than 7, 7:30 I am “off” the rest of the day. This includes waking up on my own or if the alarm blasts my butt into reality. So, instead of forcing myself and my heavy limbs to early morning meetings or to hack out morning pages ala The Artist’s Way I just don’t do it – at that time of the day.

Know Thyself; Create a Natural Routine that Works

Knowing your body’s natural rhythms and how to mesh that with all you need to do can be a challenge, but its doable. And before you tell me its not easy to do with kids, I totally get it. My sister tells me that all the time. Its also glaringly obvious that she doesn’t take simple steps to make things easier for herself, either. They are your children, not your dictators. Set the example for them to follow. Of course there are exceptions, but noting you need to be flexible as a parent is like preaching to the choir.

We all get trapped in routines – doing, thinking and connecting in a similar way all the time. Soon we realize we don’t feel as fulfilled as we once were, or would like to be. Well, nothing changes if you continue to set yourself up for failure. Reevaluate and switch up routines to create a more user-friendly lifestyle that supports how your life is NOW. Then watch the grace of life show up to support you.

I also implore you to drop the attachment to “busy = important” story. You don’t have to prove anything, but it IS important to know what works for you today and your evolved life. Even if you don’t think you show up that way, its still worth a review.

Getting a handle on creating a life that supports you in busy and slow times is an art form in and of itself, but I know you can do it. Just start somewhere!