Creative Katrina

Photo: Sheba_Also

People strive for safety. It drives most if not all our choices, even at the most subconscious of levels, and soon turns into habit. This inherent desire to be comfy, safe and protect ourselves is very instinctual and seems relatively harmless, but can easily transition into a block or challenge in various areas of life.

In my work as a writer and healer, time after time I see people who have no idea that their habits and personal boundaries may be causing limitations or frustrations in their creativity, love life or career. For some reason, they can’t connect the dots or see how one is related to the other. Auto pilot and comfort can seem like fabulous friends, when in reality, they are actually keeping you tied down, feeling helpless and frustrated.

And we all do it. Each and every one of us. Family dynamics set you up to operate a certain way in the world, and paired with personal experiences and struggles, shape you as a person, creating your view of what is safe or uncomfortable. The challenge is, most people are itching to point the finger at anything and anyone else besides their own thinking and actions.

Jumping Along the Habit Trail

People also hide in habits. They are safe and mindless. And not all habits are bad. But if they are making things difficult in your life and cause you a lot of pain and emotional frustration when faced with changing them, then that’s an uber red flag you may be acting your own worst enemy. It’s time to open up to transition and embrace change.

Before I come off sounding like a motivational speaker or self-help guru, let me make one thing clear – there is NOTHING more challenging than seeing your own crap. Really looking at it; taking the courage to see what’s working within yourself and in your dynamic with others. But one of the things I think holds people back most is romanticizing the past, thinking it can continue to fulfill them in the same ways as they move through life. That includes habits. Habits that worked for you before, making you feel safe, comfy or protected, can transition into stunting your personal evolution, fulfillment and happiness.

Time to Change the Tires 

Change is part of every aspect of life; the seed that sparks innovation and revolution. It’s where great stories come from; it’s the key to how we learn, grow and expand our mind to the next level of the human experience.

And things in your life can seem really terrible when you don’t see them as necessary change, and instead view them as threats to your safety and current way of being.

What we really need to be thinking about are the boundaries around behavior. How do you LET people treat you? What are you willing to let slide, and what do you stand up for? Where do you draw the line at helping others, and instead turn that loving, nurturing energy loose on yourself? How may you be holding yourself back or letting others do the same?

To me, changing habits is more important now than ever, as we sit on the brink of transformation as a nation, as a human race and as part of a global evolution. What are you ready to release, change or experience differently? Are you ready to be the best, most kickass version of yourself that you can be in this very moment?

As the cold weather creeps into Colorado, the smell of damp leaves and chill in the air gives me a feeling of going back to school. It happens every year, without fail.

Since I have stopped taking the yellow school bus and ditched the boring math classes, I still find the need to settle into a routine to carry me through the chillier months. It helps me get grounded, focused and feel directed, just like going back to school used to be in the fall.

With no teachers to set the ground rules or children to shuttle off to school, people can sometimes start to feel as scattered as the leaves blowing in the wind. Its important to create a ritual that is easy to stick to at any time of day, and make it a habit.

Its OK to be Selfish Sometimes

However, many people feel this act is a selfish one, especially if they are self-employed. They are often compelled to plop themselves in front of the computer to feel like they are busy and accomplishing something, even if its just to distract themselves from their own thoughts.

Hey, I get it. With pending deadlines sometimes there is no choice but to get started right away. On the flip side, creating planned time for yourself on a regular basis makes that special time into a “ritual” just for you. In reality, it should be something as important as brushing your teeth, eating your dinner or caring for your family.

By establishing a ritual all about you, you are choosing to be selfish in a way that benefits the greater good. With a centered heart and mind, you are more likely to feel honored, cherished and special, and more willing to extend that part of you to others in your life.

Developing the Ritual

What has worked for me the last few months is to carve out morning meditation time. Even if its only for 15 to 20 minutes, it has helped me feel more grounded and clear before I get into the daily grind. Is this earth shattering in terms of originality? No. But it HAS made a big difference in my clarity and in my creativity. I am able to put a little bit of ME in my day, before I dedicate it to clients, business tasks and the general busy-ness of life.

Maybe personal time in the morning is impossible because you need to soak up every last minute of shut-eye. So what works for you? A lunch time nap? A few stolen moments after the kids go to bed? How about a good old “space out” at any time of day?

The important thing is to make it a habit. Not only does this naturally build personal reflection time into your life routine, but helps you honor yourself on an on-going basis. Its critical to count yourself as an important element in your own life. If you do not make the time to honor you, why will anyone else?