Creative Katrina

Photo by assbach

To really connect with others, the most important thing you need to be able to do is show and share your authentic self. Sounds simple, right? Actually, as one of the hardest things in the world to do, it’s still the number one thing that holds people back in their lives and businesses.

And don’t be fooled by first impressions, despite the old adage. Most often people only show what they think you want to see first rather than the truth. Whether they are doing it consciously or not, that’s another story. Often this is what marketing is based on – telling people what you think they want to hear so they will buy or commit to a brand.

However, the real you is your best and only currency.

When the Writing Needs to be on the Wall

With a long career in marketing based writing and consulting, making things sound fabulous is second nature to me. I know how to twist an angle, eloquently talk about strengths and create an authentic hook that reels people in naturally. I also know how to polish a turd, and to the best of my ability, focus on the positive.

But writing about people, or when people need to write about themselves, it’s quite the opposite. They have a really hard time seeing their own value, gifts and big picture contributions. They struggle with the right way to talk about themselves that “doesn’t seem like bragging”, and often just talk about themselves as little as possible because it makes them uncomfortable. Most often their biggest struggle is how to write about and market themselves in a way that sounds and feels authentic; to talk about their gifts using language that draws in people for a personal and business connection. 

I think it’s because they are very attached to the idea of who the SHOULD be, but have no idea who they really are. People are afraid to share the unique quirks and “weirder bits” that truly make them so awesome in the first place, but those are the real, authentic connecting points that bridge them with like-minded people, businesses and clients.

Show Us What You Got!

Do you feel you have a good sense of who you are, beyond the generic ideas and personal programming? Can you really be honest with yourself, in the most challenging of moments, and really own up to who you are? Do you spend any regular time alone, in some contemplative space, thinking about your life and how to be an active participant instead of an unwilling spectator, being dragged through one dramatic life experience after the other?

Most importantly, do you share some things about yourself with others or through your business that you feel might be “weird” to others?

These are just some of the things you can think about to open the conversation with yourself and make it honest. There is no right answer and there is no rush. And if you need a little help seeing your gifts and how to use them to connect with others (which is why we have them in the first place), talk with someone who can reflect your unique beauty back to you – whether you consult with a professional like myself or a friend or family member.

And in the spirit of sharing, I have to be fair. Here are a few things you may not know about me…

• I love celebrity gossip and soap operas – it helps me relax and decompress
• I’m highly intuitive and can tune into people, seeing where they have energy blocks or things they are unable to see in themselves
• I adore animals, all kinds, and used to do wild animal rehab work with the Humane Society
• I’m originally from the northeast, and have the attitude to match (when I need it)
• I love dark and sour beers

This post is part of the May 2012 Word Carnival — a monthly group blogging event specifically for small business owners. (It’s the most fun you’ll have all month!) Check out the rest of the fabulous carney work here.

Photo by Jad_23 on Flickr

There are so many ways to easily get distracted from your own awesomeness and inner power.

Frustration, hurt, pain, disappointment, loneliness, lack of love and endless other emotions, mixed up with the mundane daily tasks of life, all eat away at the edges of our soul. It’s so easy to let these experiences unknowingly chip away at our inner glow, dwindling it to barely a spark.

The truth is, these are just experiences – not definitions of who you are. Crap happens. Life seems unfair, cruel and down right vicious at times, but this is when you must tap into the radiance within, calling forth your inner joy and beauty that cannot be destroyed or taken down by such external things.

Your view and perspective of the world is more than a way to travel through your life. It’s a means to explore, challenge yourself and move towards transformation, to burn away the old ideas and non-sense that keeps you trapped like a rat in a cage.

When you burn through those doubts, limitations and pot holes to dig deep into your inner and gifts and strengths is when you’re truly at your most radiant. And just imagine what this world would be like if more people valued their inner glow, honoring themselves enough to pursue their biggest dreams and passions despite all their fears.

I do not claim this path is easy. You will feel as if you live many lifetimes in one, burning through the old emotions, thoughts, friends, beliefs and ideas in a space that is unclear, undefined and kind of scary, to make way for the new saplings and buds. And the cycle will continue, growing and expanding with each evolution. Repeatedly.

What you get from this path of consistent pursuit of authenticity is a new base of wholeness that grows with you, over and over. It generates a sense of connectedness, clarity and radiance that is so immense and beautiful, there is simply no room for anything else to fit.

The best part is that radiance is catchy. You inspire others just by being connected to the true you within. So what are you waiting for? Spread the radiant love!

(Source: creativekatrina.com)

Photo by Cocoabiscuit

With digital overload and limited face to face time, handshakes are more important than ever. In fact, handshakes may be the one and only time you have physical human contact with a potential long-term connection, so fire up those peepers and pay attention!

I put a lot of stock in a handshake because it tells you something much more truthful than the words pouring out of a person’s mouth. A handshake can corroborate or dispel the image a person throws out at you, as much as they can clearly demonstrate different dimensions of a person in a non-verbal context. Most importantly they can give you big insights about someone’s authenticity.

Subtle Clues, Big Insights

Authenticity is big for me; perhaps the most important tool I use when deciding to collaborate with a potential client, business partner or connect with someone as a friend. In order to make clear, solid decisions about personal connections, I run through a few key questions to assess a person’s authenticity through their handshake.

• Is their hand limp and lax, waiting for you to do all the work?
• Is their hand strong to the point of squeezing, rather than an actual hand shake, so your palms never fully touch?
• Do they look you in the eye as they shake your hand, or nervously look in another direction?
• Do they seem in a hurry to “get ‘er done?”
• Most importantly, are they able to take your hand with confidence and engage in a real moment of human to human heart connection?

Are there exceptions? Sure! Some people are just shy initially and that might come across in their personal interactions — especially if they spend a lot of time alone. What I’m suggesting is to simply pay attention to that first hand-to-hand connection, and see how it matches up with subsequent interactions. You also might get all the information you needed at first “shake.”

What Non-verbal Hints Really Reveal

Yes, non-verbal communication is by no means a secret, new discovery. But it’s a tool most people don’t utilize fully when initially assessing potential associations. If you tend to be somewhat dense about these kinds of things, let me lay it out for you.

If a person is fidgety and disconnected in their handshake, it’s probably how they are going to act if you collaborate with them, too. If they hurry and rush through your interaction, avoiding eye contact and talking over you, most likely they will talk right over your good ideas and be light on the listening. In contrast, if they are caring, open to new ideas and willing to listen, they are probably warm, friendly and have a firm, yet non-aggressive handshake as they make eye contact with you.

These are just some examples, of course, but I do encourage you to be on high alert to notice anything that might seem off, disconnected or feel awkward. If you can work out the kinks during subsequent contact, great! It’s just that often people miss the initial subtle clues that could have made a world of difference in terms of their choices.

Handshakes in a Digital World

So what if face to face is never a possibility? There are plenty of people I never actually meet face-to-face, but we are able to work together flawlessly or have become good friends. The same initial interaction review points still apply over the phone, video chat or instant message. Unresponsive is unresponsive. Conversation hog is a conversation hog. Distracted is distracted. Delightful, engaged and playful is a good start.

Just spend that little extra effort during the first few interactions to see what you notice. And know that someone is probably doing the exact same thing, right back at ya.

(Source: creativekatrina.com )