It’s easy to use other people’s “lenses” to assess the value of your talent. We each grow up modeling a set of values shared by friends and family that inadvertently define what having a talent really means and it’s importance in the world.
There’s also a societal push to force a talent into something trainable and marketable so that it has some sort of quantifiable worth.
All of these influences impact how you see your unique gifts and can overshadow the most important opinion – your own. When the voice in your heart has been pushed back for so long, it can be hard to hear, let alone trust what you believe about yourself and capabilities.
It takes courage to cast aside the lenses you’ve adopted and finally choose your own.
The process of clarifying the value of your talent and how best to use it is ongoing and meant to be so. Each personal experience has the potential to change your direction and understanding of life, clarifying where your talents truly shine. To honor this natural evolutionary process to it’s fullest starts with self-awareness and choosing to listen deeply to the inner voice only you can hear.
Clues, Cues and Choice
My parents recently visited me in Colorado and stayed in my new home. It’s been awhile since we were all together in such a concentrated way and on my personal turf.
During a specific conversation I was reminded of how, at times, I slide into seeing things in a way that limits my own talent and capabilities because I fall back on using my parent’s filters.
Me and my Dad (who was self-employed) were discussing the idea of delegation. I do a lot of things for my own business as an entrepreneur, but choose to outsource my accounting. I don’t particularly like it and feel better served (and less stressed) when someone else is handling it. My Dad’s response was, “well, you don’t like it so you aren’t very good at it”.
This is where our debate shot up.
As a wordsmith I choose my words carefully. I reminded him that deciding not to do something does not mean I’m not capable or good at it. In fact, it just means that I’m making a smart business decision by not doing it myself and focusing on things that serve me, my business and my talent more effectively. He was surprised by my reaction and took a step back as I explained my point of view, and I appreciated that he truly listened and honored my insights.
This personal exchange set off a bit of a “spark” because it inadvertently reminded me of how I can slip into a space of limitation or self-judgement when faced with challenging tasks I feel I may not understand or do well. It was a perfect example of adopting my parent’s value of what a talent is or isn’t instead of my own. It also clarified (for me) that my approach is to explore and play with creative potential and it’s many forms, not force myself to “grin and bear it” if an innovative solution is possible.
My parents are both careful decision makers who do their research and weigh pros and cons before making choices – skills I readily use in my business all the time. However, neither of them see themselves as “creative” and find the intuitive and coaching work I do a bit mystifying.
Given this obvious disconnect, how could using their filters to see the truth of my own creative talent possibly work or support my personal path?
Sit with the Truth Behind What you Value and Why
Many people feel held back by something they cannot define, touch or see. When you are willing to dive into why you value certain things or ideas, it can help you decide whether or not they still serve you and release the hold they have on your self-worth.
For example, did you adopt certain ways of thinking out of fear? Connect with a specific mindset after a challenging experience or as a direct reaction to a negative model you were exposed to growing up?
You can’t fully understand what might be holding you back from expanding into your true talents when you try to assess it with your mind. To process it more effectively, write down what you value about your talents and beliefs and feel into it with your heart. Does it still resonate? Are you feeling served by that particular expression of value or limited?
When you can be open and explore what works for you now, you have an opportunity to realign yourself with a lighter, brighter sense of how your talent serves as a source of joy and meshes with everyone else’s gifts, too.
In life there will always be things you don’t like to do or conflict with what you value, but are you balancing those out with things that fill your spirit and light your creative fire?
Need help pushing past old ideas to focus on your real talent? Connect with me for a 1-on-1 coaching session. Want to do a bit more reading on values and creative validation, check out some of my previous posts; How your Values Impact your Creative Drive and Waiting for Someone Else to Validate your Creativity?
Photo credit: Nicanicasather, George Redgrave, Moyan Brenn