Creative Katrina

Check It! Habits and Boundaries

Photo: Sheba_Also

People strive for safety. It drives most if not all our choices, even at the most subconscious of levels, and soon turns into habit. This inherent desire to be comfy, safe and protect ourselves is very instinctual and seems relatively harmless, but can easily transition into a block or challenge in various areas of life.

In my work as a writer and healer, time after time I see people who have no idea that their habits and personal boundaries may be causing limitations or frustrations in their creativity, love life or career. For some reason, they can’t connect the dots or see how one is related to the other. Auto pilot and comfort can seem like fabulous friends, when in reality, they are actually keeping you tied down, feeling helpless and frustrated.

And we all do it. Each and every one of us. Family dynamics set you up to operate a certain way in the world, and paired with personal experiences and struggles, shape you as a person, creating your view of what is safe or uncomfortable. The challenge is, most people are itching to point the finger at anything and anyone else besides their own thinking and actions.

Jumping Along the Habit Trail

People also hide in habits. They are safe and mindless. And not all habits are bad. But if they are making things difficult in your life and cause you a lot of pain and emotional frustration when faced with changing them, then that’s an uber red flag you may be acting your own worst enemy. It’s time to open up to transition and embrace change.

Before I come off sounding like a motivational speaker or self-help guru, let me make one thing clear – there is NOTHING more challenging than seeing your own crap. Really looking at it; taking the courage to see what’s working within yourself and in your dynamic with others. But one of the things I think holds people back most is romanticizing the past, thinking it can continue to fulfill them in the same ways as they move through life. That includes habits. Habits that worked for you before, making you feel safe, comfy or protected, can transition into stunting your personal evolution, fulfillment and happiness.

Time to Change the Tires 

Change is part of every aspect of life; the seed that sparks innovation and revolution. It’s where great stories come from; it’s the key to how we learn, grow and expand our mind to the next level of the human experience.

And things in your life can seem really terrible when you don’t see them as necessary change, and instead view them as threats to your safety and current way of being.

What we really need to be thinking about are the boundaries around behavior. How do you LET people treat you? What are you willing to let slide, and what do you stand up for? Where do you draw the line at helping others, and instead turn that loving, nurturing energy loose on yourself? How may you be holding yourself back or letting others do the same?

To me, changing habits is more important now than ever, as we sit on the brink of transformation as a nation, as a human race and as part of a global evolution. What are you ready to release, change or experience differently? Are you ready to be the best, most kickass version of yourself that you can be in this very moment?

How to Set 2012 Ablaze with your Awesomeness

Not literally with fireworks, wayward candles or unattended fondue pots, but fan it with the flames of your personal missions and desires. Those sparky little fireworks that ignite when you give them space and room to breathe, taking in oxygen and building flames of creative folly.

Instead of spazing over a series of resolutions for 2012 that you will never keep, just create and keep one. Give yourself permission to day dream and think bigger than any self-imposed limitations that have followed you throughout this past year. Don’t dig them up to reprocess them, just acknowledge any limiting thoughts, ideas and actions, thank them for their insight, and set fire to the rest – IN YOUR MIND of course. Or to the paper you write them on if you simply must get them all out in a literal fashion. Just remember, no dwelling, just acknowledging.

Now onto the fun part – getting to the ooey, gooey good stuff.

Ask yourself the biggest and most important question – Am I happy? When the lights are out, the computer is off, the kiddos are sleeping quietly and my mind is open and at rest, do I feel content, in alignment and happy with the direction my life is going? Leave behind what you think your answers SHOULD be. Kick them right back into the abyss.

Then just settle into the quiet, the nothingness, and listen to the clear, quality answers that bubble up when you are willing to open to the complete truth with yourself. 

What better way to embrace a year of new beginnings than wishing the old ones adieu and leaving your heart, soul and mind open to all that you deeply desire? Sounds like the best possible idea – any time of year, actually.

(Source: creativekatrinacom)

Attitude, Creative Mojo and the End of 2011 

Photo by Mydass

With just about a month left in 2011, people are all a flurry making holiday plans, buying gifts and finishing up year end projects. It’s the proverbial “crunch time” — busting ass to fit in every possible thing you pledged with your heart and soul to do before year end, but some how fell to the wayside. Creative mojo is replaced with a sense of obligation, and attitudes quickly shift to grouchy, irritated and rushed.
 
Throw in family obligations, year end commitments and the looming thoughts of how to plan for the best year EVAH next year, and no wonder people go a bit batty.

Pressure! But where is the pressure really coming from?

Personal expectations, internal judgments and comparing ourselves to others. The should, could and didn’t (s) all pile on, pushing you into over drive, triggering old fears of not being enough, right now. And these thought patterns are not something you picked up last week, they are life long ways of thinking and being. With each coming year there’s pressure to outdo ourselves in a way that is better, more spectacular and amazing than ever before.

And these long-term, out dated ideas play out time and time again – UNTIL you notice the cycle.

The reality is, you need to get a handle on what works for you now, at this point in your life, in this moment. If you are spending time “wishing” things were and could be different, you are squelching creativity at its very source. You are denying the very mother of invention – NECESSITY! It’s the ability and desire for change that is the true inspiration for creativity in the first place.

I think the bravest thing anyone can do is look at their business and themselves with complete honesty and decide to make a change. Is it simple? Maybe. Could also be the most terrifying, gut-wrenching, ball busting thing you ever do. But if you aren’t willing to change the game, what do you really have left worth living for anyway?

The idea of the perfect “whatever” doesn’t exist in the way you expect because that would be predicting the future. The beauty is in being present, open and embracing what’s true in the moment, no “stories” attached, and transforming it into something amazing – in real time.

So if you really want inspiring, creative, on-fire mojo for next year, be willing to be vulnerable. Change your attitude. Open up. Let go. Surrender those ideas that drag behind you like stones, rolling over and crushing the green buds of new ideas in it’s wake. Give yourself the freedom to change, and your creative fire will walk up to greet you.

The Idea of “Perfect” Blows Giant Holes in Creativity

Photo: cloud_nine

We create all day long. Fantastic grandiose ideas thrown in amongst thoughts of errands, irritations and obligations. And as those moments of creative brilliance shine through, do you say WOO HOO! I gotta write this down! Or do you immediately start picking them apart, reviewing all the angles to convince yourself why it will never work, why it’s not perfect?

Humans have super powers when it comes to our ability to talk ourselves into and out of anything. This very powerful skill helps us move through challenges and stuck points, heartbreak and tragedy, to grow and transform into a more evolved version of ourselves. The very same skill blows up a great idea before it even gets out of the starting gate.

Fear and Expectations

Being infused with an amazing idea is awesome! Let it sink in and savor it. Daydream and play. Visualize how it can be expanded or improved and infuse it with life. Just be open and see how it shapes up.

Of course you need to examine all the angles eventually, but just because a particular idea or undertaking is hard, does it mean you should abandon it all together? Is it a “sign” that it just won’t work? Depends on the difficulties you encounter.

If something is hard to achieve because you need to train, learn something new or there is stiff competition, well, that’s just life. But there’s a sneaky hidden factor often at play in most seemingly challenging situations, and that’s fear. It lurks in the background of everything new you try that pushes your threshold, holding you back and forcing you to over analyze every idea. The result? You never pull the trigger to set something in motion, so great ideas languish smothered by fear.

Ask Fear What’s Up

There is a common belief that fear must be eradicated. As you move through life, experiences and explore tools that open your mind, the fear can become manageable but is not demolished. It changes into something you learn how to co-habitate with, so-to-speak. Then is has the chance to transform into a healing opportunity.

Do your best to move past the worry and explore angles that may be cloaked in fear. Perhaps you have a real, legitimate reason to be afraid? Family dynamics, old bosses that tore you down, crappy experiences you can’t forget — the list is endless. And now that these fears exist, the only way to release their hold on you is to be open to making friends with them.

Fears develop over time, starting out as little seeds watered by frustration, doubt and other misinformation. So what better way to break new creative ground for peaceful coexistence then getting to their core?

Face to Face with Fear

How you do this is so intensely personal, it’s hard to prescribe a method of management. What I can say is that regular meditation, time alone to process the emotions related to each fear and patience with yourself are all important, but most of all, the willingness to finally face your fears is the most critical piece.

So instead of the desire towards perfection, re-frame it into a desire to come face to face with your fears. It’s an experience in transformation that will be one of the most powerful in your life.

The Power in Connecting to your Radiance

Photo by Jad_23 on Flickr

There are so many ways to easily get distracted from your own awesomeness and inner power.

Frustration, hurt, pain, disappointment, loneliness, lack of love and endless other emotions, mixed up with the mundane daily tasks of life, all eat away at the edges of our soul. It’s so easy to let these experiences unknowingly chip away at our inner glow, dwindling it to barely a spark.

The truth is, these are just experiences – not definitions of who you are. Crap happens. Life seems unfair, cruel and down right vicious at times, but this is when you must tap into the radiance within, calling forth your inner joy and beauty that cannot be destroyed or taken down by such external things.

Your view and perspective of the world is more than a way to travel through your life. It’s a means to explore, challenge yourself and move towards transformation, to burn away the old ideas and non-sense that keeps you trapped like a rat in a cage.

When you burn through those doubts, limitations and pot holes to dig deep into your inner and gifts and strengths is when you’re truly at your most radiant. And just imagine what this world would be like if more people valued their inner glow, honoring themselves enough to pursue their biggest dreams and passions despite all their fears.

I do not claim this path is easy. You will feel as if you live many lifetimes in one, burning through the old emotions, thoughts, friends, beliefs and ideas in a space that is unclear, undefined and kind of scary, to make way for the new saplings and buds. And the cycle will continue, growing and expanding with each evolution. Repeatedly.

What you get from this path of consistent pursuit of authenticity is a new base of wholeness that grows with you, over and over. It generates a sense of connectedness, clarity and radiance that is so immense and beautiful, there is simply no room for anything else to fit.

The best part is that radiance is catchy. You inspire others just by being connected to the true you within. So what are you waiting for? Spread the radiant love!

(Source: creativekatrina.com)

It’s all in the Handshake, Baby: Authenticity and Non-verbal Clues

Photo by Cocoabiscuit

With digital overload and limited face to face time, handshakes are more important than ever. In fact, handshakes may be the one and only time you have physical human contact with a potential long-term connection, so fire up those peepers and pay attention!

I put a lot of stock in a handshake because it tells you something much more truthful than the words pouring out of a person’s mouth. A handshake can corroborate or dispel the image a person throws out at you, as much as they can clearly demonstrate different dimensions of a person in a non-verbal context. Most importantly they can give you big insights about someone’s authenticity.

Subtle Clues, Big Insights

Authenticity is big for me; perhaps the most important tool I use when deciding to collaborate with a potential client, business partner or connect with someone as a friend. In order to make clear, solid decisions about personal connections, I run through a few key questions to assess a person’s authenticity through their handshake.

• Is their hand limp and lax, waiting for you to do all the work?
• Is their hand strong to the point of squeezing, rather than an actual hand shake, so your palms never fully touch?
• Do they look you in the eye as they shake your hand, or nervously look in another direction?
• Do they seem in a hurry to “get ‘er done?”
• Most importantly, are they able to take your hand with confidence and engage in a real moment of human to human heart connection?

Are there exceptions? Sure! Some people are just shy initially and that might come across in their personal interactions — especially if they spend a lot of time alone. What I’m suggesting is to simply pay attention to that first hand-to-hand connection, and see how it matches up with subsequent interactions. You also might get all the information you needed at first “shake.”

What Non-verbal Hints Really Reveal

Yes, non-verbal communication is by no means a secret, new discovery. But it’s a tool most people don’t utilize fully when initially assessing potential associations. If you tend to be somewhat dense about these kinds of things, let me lay it out for you.

If a person is fidgety and disconnected in their handshake, it’s probably how they are going to act if you collaborate with them, too. If they hurry and rush through your interaction, avoiding eye contact and talking over you, most likely they will talk right over your good ideas and be light on the listening. In contrast, if they are caring, open to new ideas and willing to listen, they are probably warm, friendly and have a firm, yet non-aggressive handshake as they make eye contact with you.

These are just some examples, of course, but I do encourage you to be on high alert to notice anything that might seem off, disconnected or feel awkward. If you can work out the kinks during subsequent contact, great! It’s just that often people miss the initial subtle clues that could have made a world of difference in terms of their choices.

Handshakes in a Digital World

So what if face to face is never a possibility? There are plenty of people I never actually meet face-to-face, but we are able to work together flawlessly or have become good friends. The same initial interaction review points still apply over the phone, video chat or instant message. Unresponsive is unresponsive. Conversation hog is a conversation hog. Distracted is distracted. Delightful, engaged and playful is a good start.

Just spend that little extra effort during the first few interactions to see what you notice. And know that someone is probably doing the exact same thing, right back at ya.

(Source: creativekatrina.com )

10 Simple Ways to Create an Emotional Release Plan

Photo by kandyjaxx on Flickr

All of us need time to power down, disconnect from the world and find a way back to the space within. It’s not always easy with all the demands on our time and body, especially when so many people want more and more from us.

There is only so much the mind, body and spirit can take operating at that level. Pockets of energy build up, old emotional patterns and ways of thinking clog our perceptions and suddenly we feel run down, maxed out and anxious, not to mention exhausted. We may even become ill as our body finally tells us it’s DONE.

So as you scurry to finish all of your “activities”, have you ever thought about how to release all your old, heavy, pent up energy? Some people shop excessively, eat constantly or distract themselves by butting into other people’s lives. Others just unleash on someone else, dumping all their “stuff” without a second thought. Do any of these sound like you?

Find your Emotional Baseline

The most important first step is to tune in and really get a clear baseline of your personal boundaries physically, emotionally, mentally and spiritually. It’s hard to know how to deal with managing stress in these areas if you have no baseline as to what is “too much” for you.

It’s also critical to get a sense of what a “yes” and a “no” FEELS like in your own body. It takes practice and relaxation, but keep at it. Practice by asking yourself simple yes/no questions that you already know. With the help of a clear way to tune into feeling this information, you can learn to make better choices about your time and stress level as you go about your day.

One of the most important things to learn and accept is the idea that not everything needs to get done right now. Really feel into the sense of relief that wells up inside of you when you truly release the pressure of “should.” Then re-evaluate with your yes/no inquiry.

Implement Healthy Emotional Release Tactics

If you strip away all the unhealthy options for unloading, do you have positive methods in place to clear out your internal energy system? If not, create a simple plan that works for your lifestyle, and work it daily. Have as many or few items as you need.

Here are 10 simple ways to get started:

• Regular exercise (a little each day or longer periods every few days)
• Meditation
• Old fashioned screaming and crying, in private
• Consult with an alternative healing professional for a treatment (Reiki, acupuncture, EFT, acupressure, massage, rolfing, etc.
• Take deep breaths as frequently as necessary
• Go for a walk
• Spend time in nature and/or with animals
• Journal daily or at least weekly
• Take a time out frequently throughout your day, and walk away from your desk or work situation
• Get off the computer, your phone and other electronic devices for at least 15 minutes each day before you go to sleep

Once you have a sense of your personal boundaries, then you can add things into your daily, weekly and monthly routine that help manage the stress of everyday life. The important thing is to not only experiment, but DO IT.  A little bit every day helps, rather than letting things build up until you blow.

Activities that are free and easy can be added to your daily routine, whereas healing treatments can become part of a weekly or monthly plan, depending on your budget. As you feel more in control of how you manage stress, anxiety and emotions according to your personal baseline, and utilize the tactics you have in place to know your own unique boundaries, you will see how much more grounded and happy you can feel.

Of course, if you feel overwhelmed or unsure of where to start, consult with a mental health professional to help get you centered, and then create a plan that works for your lifestyle.

(Source: creativekatrina.com)

Want to Get Out of your Own Head? Talk Out Loud to Yourself

Photo on Flickr by Jaaron

Talking out loud to yourself is not just for movie scripts, when scary things lurk in the shadows and a blonde, scantily clad woman screeches out — “Who’s there?”

It actually serves as a very useful tool in cutting through a steaming pile of mental goo.

Thoughts breed on thoughts, and it’s so easy to get wrapped up in your own web full of them. Most often you aren’t even sure how they got started, but they quickly run over each other, creating an life-size hairball that requires serious mental Drano.

I would like to say meditation is the best solution, but some folks swear to bits they are too antsy, and all prior attempts have been futile and frustrating. Journaling is another option, but it takes quite a bit more time, as you need to write regularly before recognizing mental patterns. And as much as it pains me, some people just don’t like to write. Gasp!

Here is an effective, creative option to help untangle the mental fuzz — talk to yourself, out loud.

Hearing is Believing

I’m going to go out on a limb here and assume most folks have heard their own voice through an audio recording. Whether it’s your cell phone message on playback, the lame yet hilarious answering machine message from back in the day, or through a little video snippet, you’ve had a chance to hear your own voice.

It’s common for people think their own voice sounds weird and foreign to them, but this exercise goes way beyond what you think you hear, and pushes ahead toward how it FEELS to hear it.

When you actually hear yourself externally, stringing together words in an impromptu fashion, you will feel any number of things; relaxed, excited, confused, annoyed, strange — there are oodles of possibilities.

As you continue to talk out loud in a stream of consciousness, after a few minutes you begin to tell which thoughts really sound authentic and are true for you. It generates a different kind of reaction in your gut, and you will feel how some words sit well, while others feel “off.”

This is one way to start picking through the mental trash, and see what needs to go.

Saying words out loud also let’s you FEEL the weight and energy of them in the instantly in the present moment. This is the real objective perspective you need in order to start noticing lack luster thought patterns and try on new “word wheels.”

Clear for Take Off

Talking out loud to yourself may feel odd at first, but it’s a much more direct way for feeling into the vibrational connection between the words you say and how they feel in your body — the epicenter of intuition. As you clear out the mental clutter and make space for new, more divergent, clearer thoughts, negative mental loops start to dissipate.

Free yourself with your own voice. Find time to talk out loud to yourself, and see how to melt away old patterns you might not even realize were inhibiting your greatness.

Screw the Clock — Savor the Present

Photo on Flickr from tsheko

That’s right, screw the clock. Shut it off, leave your phone behind, break free from the schedule as much as you can, or are willing.

Why?

Lives guided by the hands on the clock make us anxious. This barely tangible, man-made tool somehow turns us into lunatics, dictates how we show up and what we create for ourselves.

Time makes us panicky at holidays as we step over each other’s faces to get the best Christmas gifts, when a gift the next day is just a good. It creates a false urgency that we are missing something, as we watch the minutes tick by and nothing mind blowing has happened.

When you focus on time you are forgetting to actually show up and be present; worry lines dictating your choices more than your heart. You are distracted from the truth — that your heart is where magic begins. Not in the hands of the clock.

Forget the fact you “aren’t quite there yet.” Who cares about the should’s, could’s and ought to’s. Love the moment you are in and make it real. Feel every inch of it. Bring it into each and every one of your senses and pores. Let it roll all over you and then some.

Presence is the absence of time. So if time didn’t exist, what would you REALLY want? Savor this moment to find out.

Consistent vs. Complacent: Which One are You?

Photo by dprevite on Flickr

Just as so many others have declared before this post, I’m going to affirm yet again that we live in a busy world that is face-paced and dense with information overload. And yes, I’m well aware that I’m stating the obvious.

But as the world continues to whiz on by and change at hyper-speed, we form habits to deal with all the “noise.” Some of us need a routine to help keep us on track, others just become complacent in the barrage of input, and choose to hollow out a niche where we feel comfortable. Although it feels safe, it can also keep us from challenging ourselves and growing personally and professionally.

When you really think about it, what is the difference between showing up in a consistent way, and becoming complacent by ALWAYS showing up in the same way? Hmmm…

Bring it to the Mat, Baby

I took a new yoga class this week (yay for me!), and I was inspired by the instructor’s perspective on consistency. It turned out to be a fast-paced, more aerobic-type yoga class, and she needed to school us class newbies on one thing – to be consistent in our breath and effort. She guided us to show up for every pose with the same energy, persistence and determination, whether it was our favorite pose or something we felt was simply impossible to manage. As we flung our arms and legs about with an increasing intensity in the second half of class, she continued to bring us back to that same simple point – are you ready and willing to show up with the same care and intensity for the next pose?

The instructor’s simple insight reminded me of how people often forget the act of consistency in their daily lives. By doing your best to show up in a strong, positive way even when things are hardest, is what builds character and inspires growth in all areas of life.

The only difference is that in yoga it’s only you and the mat – so there IS no where else to go but within and show up for yourself. It strips away the ability to point the finger or make excuses, or distract yourself from showing up truthfully, facades stripped away.
 
When Comfy Equals Consistency

Now on the flip side, there are many people who get into a consistent routine and let it take over for months on end. This set way of doing things does not inspire them to grow and they cling to the routine to feel good, as fear of change creeps in along the sides of their life. Soon they do nothing but focus on the routine, because changing the game at this point feels too risky. If this all sounds familiar, it may mean you’ve entered the “comfy trap.”

When things feel too safe and predictable, it may be time to reevaluate. Are you really happy? Is there something missing from your life that could make you happier? Are you just afraid to rock the boat and try something new? It happens to us all – we get in a rut for any number of reasons. We make excuses to ourselves and for ourselves as to why action is not right at this time, but being aware is the first step to shifting it.

Now don’t confuse being comfy or stuck with creating a routine. A routine is a helpful tool to keep you on track and make sure there are important core, self-care things in your life to keep you grounded and feeling mentally clear. Routines are also good for things you NEED to do, but don’t particularly enjoy, because it provides a way for you to mentally commit to getting them done with consistency.

At the end of the day, you are only really accountable for yourself and to yourself. Unless, of course, you have children. In that case you need to feed and water them – oh wait…that’s plants! But you get the idea.

You can’t fight the inevitable, and change is really the only constant you can count on. Show up to your own “yoga mat” ready to take on what you can, confident you are willing to give all aspects of your life the same energy, space and awareness.